Breastfeeding and Attachment Parenting Links

Saint John Breastfeeding Alliance

Find links to La Leche League, WHO, Infact, Nursing Mother.com, etc.

Breastfeeding.com

The #1 site in Breastfeeding Support information

Working and Breastfeeding

Support and additional information for nursing mothers who are also working mothers.

The Whole Family Attachment Parenting Association

The Whole Family Attachment Parenting Association Calgary, Alberta Canada Canada Flag --> Family-Friendly Site NEWSFLASH: As mentioned in Mothering Magazine May 1998 and Chatelaine Magazine April 1998

Parent-L Breastfeeding Resources Page

PARENT-L is a list which focuses on extended breastfeeding and attachment parenting. It is where I found the motivation for extended nursing and the justification, finally, for Attachement Parenting.

Benefits of Extended Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding benefits toddlers and young children, both nutritionally and psychologically:

Sustained Breastfeeding, Complementation and Care

The advantages of early breastfeeding for care and The advantages of sustained breastfeeding for care

My Birth Stories

The stories of my pregnancies and the birth of my babies!!

Breastfeeding and Christian Parenting

Do you believe that how you feed your baby matters to God? Is breastfeeding really a choice that is morally better? Today, medical professionals from the American Academy of Pediatrics to the World He

With two special needs children, we kind of fell into Attachment Parenting.

From the time that I first heard of the benefits of breastfeeding, back in the 70's when I was going for my Nursing certificate, I have known that I would nurse. I simply could not see any other means of fulfulling motherhood. Therefore, when I was expecting Marc-Andre, I read up on nursing and on the benefits of nursing. I also read all about the techniques for successful nursing, including the Family Bed Approach. However, there had been too many incidents with infants dying in adult beds, we decided not to go for this approach.

NURSING MARC-ANDRE:

When Marc-Andre was born, in my 41st week of gestation, weighing a magnificent 9 lbs 9 ounces, I nursed him within minutes of giving birth. And he was a real pro at it!! During my hospital stay, he nursed every 4 hours, with a longer wait in the night. The last day of my stay, he started nursing more frequently. He had also gotten a weird habit of latching on properly, and then withdrawing a little from the nipping, causing scabbing and an improper latch. With the help of the nursing staff, we would rectify the situation for a short while, then going back to that strange latch. When we got home, he started nursing constantly and crying endlessly. It was so bad, that my husband threatened to send him back where he came from, since the warranty was not up yet!!! By the time he was 6 weeks old, we had settled in a very strange routine of frequent nursings during the day, but of very long nights: He slept from 7 pm to 7 am, without waking. When he was 7 weeks old, the crying intensified, and was worse when he tried to nurse. Things got so bad, that we, unfortunately weaned him by the time he was 8 weeks old. I had planned to nurse for at least 3 months, preferably 6 months or longer. I was devastated and felt that I had failed in my role of mother. 2 weeks after he was weaned, we found out that he had trush, which would have caused painful nursing. I did not know that it was possible to relactate, and felt devastated that the diagnosis had not come earlier, in time to save our nursing relationship.

THE START OF THE AP APPROACH:

As I mentionned, Marc-Andre slept all night from the time he was 10 days old. However, he hardly slept during the day and cried frequently. Early on, I noticed that holding him was one way to soothe him. Therefore, from the time he was born, he was held a lot. He slept in his own bed, but would often join us in our bed, from the time he was 6 months old. At first, this mostly happened when he was sick. However, he did start having nightmares and night terrors around the nine month mark, at which time we would take him into bed with us. Furthermore, Armand or myself held him until he fell asleep. Neither one of us could stand to hear him cry himself to sleep. It seemed so mean!!!

NURSING GENEVIEVE:

By the time I was expecting Genevieve, I had heard of the WHO recommendation to nurse for at least the first year of life, preferably for at least 2 years. I had also read up on the benefits of the family bed, which was confirmed by our experience with Marc-Andre. I was determined to make a go for it, though I figured she would nurse for as short a time as her brother did. When she was born, within 1 1/2 hr of the start of my induced labor, at a whopping 9 lbs 2, she was so angry and her nose was so full of mucus, that she refused to nurse. However, that soon changed, and she even refused a bottle during the night. Smart child. And she continued to thrive on nursing, refused bottles, was not big on soothers, though she did love to be held. As time went on, the nursing relationship became easier and easier. When I went back to work, when she was 6 months old, we had a hard time introducing the bottle. For the first few weeks, she only would have about 4 or 5 ounces of milk. However, she made up for it by nursing frequently and for longer periods in the evenings, at night and in the morning, before I left for work. Nursing her was so easy, that I forgot to wean her at 12 months, and then again at 18 months. By then, I had found the Parent-L support group and found out that extended nursing and natural weaning was best for the children. Genevieve went on nursing, until she weaned, all by herself, when she was more than 3 years old!! This weaning was VERY gradual and VERY sudden. I know this sounds odd, but she went from nursing very frequently to weaning in less than 6 months. However, the weaning WAS gradual, because SHE lead it: she went from nursing several times a day, to only a few times a day to skipping a few days. However, she would still have the odd marathon nursing sessions. Then, one day, I realized she had not nursed for a week. She nursed once or twice afterwards, but was fully weaned by the end of May 1999, at 3.5 years old.

THE FAMILY BED APPROACH:

When Genevieve was born, we did set up the crib. However, she woke up often during the night. She still wakes up, sometimes. And she simply did not want to go back to the crib. By the time she was 3 months old, I simply gave up: I was exhausted trying to settle her in her crib, only to have to get a few hours later!! And we found out that it was almost impossible to smother a healthy baby: The baby simply won't let you!! We also found out that she slept better, that it was easier to nurse her and that we were less exhausted, because we did not have to get up during the night.

And we are still practicing the AP approach, even though our children are now pre-schoolers and school-aged. In this case, it simply means sharing a bed with older children, when they choose to do so. It also means being responsive to needs and trusting our parenting know-how. All in all, it makes sense.

The Benefits of Breastfeeding and Extended Breastfeeding

I am not a breastfeeding expert, even though I have been nursing for more than 3 years. However, through the years I have found out that there were serious benefits to nursing, even nursing a toddler or a pre-schooler. Some women are even nursing school-aged children.

One of the biggest benefits of breastfeeding, is the boost to the immune system. This boost, however, is not permanent, because the immunity comes from the mother's immune system, not from the baby's. That is why it is important to nurse for as long as possible, in order to protect your child. My 3 year old daughter does not get sick as often as her peers, and recovers a lot faster than most, when does get sick. This is remarkable, considering we are living with an elementary school child, who is carrying a lot viruses and bacterias.

Another benefit is the reduced risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). Sharing a bed with an infant also reduces the risks of SIDS, though some experts try to pretend to the contrary. Family bedding also benefits the nursing relationship.

A nursing infant tends to progress at more relaxed and natural rate. There is less fat in breastmilk, though there are plenty of fatty acids. Also, breastfed children are nursed on demand. Breastmilk is digested faster than formula, hence the need to nurse more frequently. All this tends to lead to a child who is less likely to be obese. Some doctors, not versed in the rate of growth of breastfed children, tend to think these children are underweight. They are not. They are simply not growing at the same rate as children fed with artificial formula!!

Studies show that a child who was nursed tend to have IQ scores of at least 10 points higher than their peers who were not nursed. Additionnally, the IQ tends to increase with the length of time the child was nursed for. This is due to the high content of long-chain fatty acids in breast milk.

Though a lot of bottle feeding mothers say that they bottle feed because nursing is too much trouble, as as mother who has tried both, I believe it is the opposite. Sure, at the beginning, nursing might mean some adjustment. Both mother and baby have to learn how to nurse. There may be latching problems. There may be some hindmilk/foremilk imbalance, but, eventually, everything will fall into place. And once it does, most mother find nursing a lot easier than bottle feeding. After all, the breasts are always there. There is no need to prepare formula or to heat bottles. And it is a myth that you can't go out when your baby is nursing. You can nurse everywhere. I have nursed in shopping centres, on park benches, in the car, in the park. And, most times, nobody knew I was nursing. If you are bottle feeding, you have to lug numerous bottles. And nursing in the middle of the night, especially when sharing accommodations with your baby, is so easy!! No need to even get up!!!

Now that I am nursing a three year old, I am getting a lot more pressures to wean. However, I have decided to nurse Genevieve until she is ready to wean, which is, on the average, around the 4th year of life. And there are still very good reasons to nurse. Her immune system is still immature. This is especially important, since we are sharing a home with a school aged child. She also benefits from nursing whenever she is sick. She also benefits from the close contact of nursing. And we both enjoy the nursing relationship.

Attachment Parenting is a term coined by Dr. William Sears to identify a method of parenting that includes extended nursing, baby wearing and family bedding. This approach also relies on responsive parenting and intuitive parenting. It is a style of parenting that comes naturally and is very gentle. Overall it leads to increased nurturing and a stronger parent-child bond.

This parenting style is being adopted by numerous free-thinking parents who simply cannot allow their babies to cry it out in their own rooms, simply because that is how it's been done in most "civilized" households of recent years.

Studies have shown that a baby whose needs are met, is a baby that is a lot more secure. Letting a baby cry it out is telling the baby that his parents are not there to meet his needs. Most parents who let a baby cry out do so out of misled good intentions. And because the baby will eventually settle down, they believe they were right. Those of us who believe in the Attachment Parenting approach think that they are in fact doing their babies a lot of wrong. Responding to our baby's cry is not spoiling our baby, it is letting our baby know that we are there for him. In turn, our baby will learn to trust us and will end crying less than most babies raised the conventionnal way.

We also believe that it is impossible to spoil a baby by holding him. Therefore, we believe in holding our babies. Many parents who practice Attachment Parenting use slings. I have never used a sling, but have used front and back carriers. These carriers allow us to carry or wear our babies while freeing our hands. The baby's weight is also more evenly distributed. Slings also allow the baby to nurse while in the sling. This allows mothers a lot more freedome, since they can nurse anywhere, even in a check-out line.

We also believe in nursing and extended nursing, for all the positive reasons linked to nursing, and because nursing creates a stronger bond with our babies.

The family bed is one of the approaches that we believe in. First and foremost, because it facilitates the nursing relationship. But also because sleeping with our children prevents the isolation that could lead to crying it out. Also because we believe in sharing as much of our time with our children as we possibly can.

Even though the Attachment Parenting approach encompasses all of the above, it is possible to be AP without extended nursing or baby wearing or family bedding. Attachment Parenting has no set rule. It is simply about nurturing our children to the max and being responsive to their needs. It is also about trusting our capabilities to parent.